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Project Bolo DVDs launched in Human Rights Film Fest


2012
02.04

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India's human rights film festival

New Delhi: “This is the time in History when advocacy of Human Rights is most needed as personal rights are in danger of erosion the world over with the rise in conservatism and fundamentalism,” Max CLAUDET,  Counsellor for Culture and Cooperation, French Embassy of India,  said in New Delhi while inaugurating Flashpoint – the 2nd Human Rights Film Festival on 3rd Feb.

He said showcasing human values and basic rights was an important initiative and the European Union Countries and particularly France fully supported Human rights.

Feroze Gujral – former super model and eminent media personality said being a conservative society which is fast liberalizing, people in India go through a myriad of emotions in their day to day life while negotiating these contradictions. “It is important to make everyone aware of their rights through displays like the Flashpoint Film Festival,” she said. Ms Gujral is also Director of Philanthropic Art Foundation and works for many social causes.

She also released DVDs of Project Bolo – a collection of stories of Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender persons of India. Project Bolo documents individual profiles and reconstructs the unique history and progress of the Indian LGBT community from the early 70s. It is produced by Humsafar Trust, Mumbai.

Poet Hoshang Merchant, who is featured in the video shared how in the 60s and the 70s there were no role models for the community and he had to ‘invent’ what a gay person looks like and feels and then present it to the world.

Writer Parmesh Shahani said Project Bolo will be an important archive and comes at a time when the LGBT rights have acquired a new space and language in society.  “We need to continue to reflect for achieving our rights.”

Sridhar Rangayan, Festival Director said 16 films from seven nations will be shown at the festival in the next three days. “It is interesting to see how Human Rights are perceived in different parts of the world. What may be more acceptable as a basic human right in one country may be looked upon with anxiety in another. And an example of this is Surrogacy, which is finding acceptance in India but not so in many western countries,” he said.

The much acclaimed “Cotton for my Shroud” (Directed by Nandan Saxena and Kavita Bahl) and Miral, the celebrated film of Director Julian Schnabel were the major highlights of the screening yesterday.  The film which is a French production about the Israel-Palestine conflict stars Freida Pinto in the main lead.

The Flashpoint festival on February 4th will screen 6 films including the much talked about ‘Pink Saris’, sensitive and uplifting film ‘Budrus’ and ‘Mee Sindutai Sapkal’ directed by Ananth Mahadevan about an illiterate abandoned woman who provided shelter to thousands of orphans. A song about Anna Hazare’s fight against corruption.performed by music group Seventh Heaven would also be featured.

 

 

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Gay bullying- video by Jonah


2011
12.05

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A young teen Jonah has posted this video of his recently that makes your heart melt and want to give him a big hug. Picked on and bullied in school and probably unable to share his agony with anyone else, he decided to let it out by posting a video. When we have so much to tell, when we are about to break down, it might be difficult for us to speak out. The kid also chose not to speak out by talking, but rather, in a very matured way shares his experience by showing various cards over which he has written how things are difficult with him at school, how though he might be looking happy, it is a fake smile that he wears and there is a lava inside waiting to burst.

And as he starts showing the cards one by one, the happy face has now tears rolling down the cheeks and can be seen sobbing. He shares how he has had suicidal tendencies, yet, he acknowledges that he is strong enough and there are a million reasons for him to live.

The video has the description, “IM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF. I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT HERE.” Jonah, you are so much more mature than your age, and so much more stronger than many people in this world.Yes, at times we just need to let it all out. I am glad that you did, and all the comments and responses to your video must have proved to you that there are so many people who actually care for you and your well being. As you said yourself, there are a million reasons to live, and all the responses just prove your point.

I have watched the video for over 10 times now, and a simple act of Jonah has brought out the pain and agony of so many gay children who get bullied at school. You have become a champion for the cause Jonah Mowry.

Love and hugs.

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When the skies came tumbling down!


2011
11.17

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Jay Ambadi writes about the emotional turmoil that he went through when he was suspected of being HIV positive

 

They say it is the experience that makes a man what he is.  They also say that wise men learn from others’ experiences (or mistakes, if you prefer).

Let me narrate an experience that changed my entire outlook towards life and death.

It was just another Friday, during my Air Force life.  I was busy in the office, clearing all pending jobs as I was scheduled to go home on a vacation, that evening.  At about 10 o’clock, I received a call from the nearby Air Force Hospital, asking me to report to their blood bank immediately.  Couple of days ago, I had donated blood there on the request of a colleague whose wife was to undergo a surgery.

I reached the blood bank and met the person in charge who incidentally was a friend of mine.  He said there was some problem with my blood sample and they would have to draw more blood for further tests.  After much cajoling he agreed to divulge the secret that my blood had tested positive for HIV.  He reminded me that he was not supposed to share that information with me before further testing, but he was doing so only because of our friendship and his confidence in me.

However, his confidence in me was rather misplaced (though I managed to continue showing a sort of nonchalance for his benefit).  I felt devastated and could feel the whole world crumbling around me.  In spite of his assurances that 3% of the test results are statistically proved to be wrong and therefore I don’t have to worry, I couldn’t help worrying.  Should I have more confidence in 97% or the 3%?  Well, the answer seemed very obvious.

Then I requested him to carry out the test immediately.  He assured me that it will be done at the earliest and the result will be made available by Monday (Sunday being a holiday!).  That was simply not acceptable to me.  I told him that I need the test to be completed on the same day as I have to decide whether to continue or to cancel my vacation.  There was no way that I will go and face my wife and my 2 year old son; with the cloud of an HIV+ uncertainty hanging over my head.

He then promised me to do whatever best he can and with that assurance I left the blood bank.  I was riding my scooter as if in a dream or stupor; my mind having stopped working rationally.  I couldn’t make up my mind and I decided to go to my quarter which was on my way to office.  I went and lay down on the bed and started thinking.  If the result is still positive (and the chances are 97%), what would that mean to my life?  How will I face my wife and family?  How will the society judge me?

I knew there were a number of reasons that could make me HIV+.  The mass inoculations at the time of enrolment (with the same needle as the disposable needles were yet to get introduced) or very primitive style of blood collection at donation centres etc. were some of the immediate reasons that came to my mind.  However, a biased society would definitely condemn me as guilty for promiscuous engagements.  My position as a soldier, who lived most of his young life away from family, at different parts of the country, would make it impossible to convince anyone.

Not that any innocence or guilt would matter much. But the stigma would get attached even to the family and subject them to all kind of social issues.  While we all know about the need of inclusion of HIV + persons into the society, when it comes to reality our people have not been much open minded.  We keep hearing about the stories of children of HIV+ parents having to go through hell in their schools. And this incidence that I am narrating took place almost a decade ago, when the biases were even more prominent.

Then the thought of suicide came to my mind. How about just ending it all so that I don’t have to face either my family or the biased society?  I considered that option quite seriously and for some time I felt that was the only viable option before me.  Then suddenly the other side of the coin struck me.  I can escape it all… but what about my family?  How do I know if my wife is not affected by the same status because of me?  How about my son?  Do I leave them to the fancies of fate and escape like a coward?

That thought put an end to the option of suicide.  Then I was forced to consider other options.  Do I again live like a coward hiding from the world?  Or do I take whatever comes and continue to lead a life as normal as it can get?  When I started thinking along these lines, the answer was again crystal clear to me.  I have to face the life, even if it is a short one.

Whatever it takes, I won’t quit at all.  I will die as a fighter and not as a loser.

Then I decided to go back to office and be as normal as possible while waiting for further results.  When I reached office, my boss and all my colleagues were eager to know why I was called by the blood bank.  I merely stated the truth as if HIV+ status is similar to common cold. I  did not hide anything and then went on to do my job.  There was almost a pin drop silence in the office.

While trying to concentrate on my work, thoughts kept on passing through my mind.  I made a pact with myself; if the test results turn negative, I will never ever worry about my death again.  I will live my life as if each day is a gift and would accept death with open arms, whenever and in whichever form it might visit me.   I remember I was even ready to barter for blood cancer or heart attack at that very moment.

It was at about 2 o’clock when my friend from blood bank called me again.  He said there was nothing to worry and the result was fine.  He said, “Go and enjoy your vacation. You are absolutely fine.”   Then I got up from my seat and said the same to all those who had by then surrounded me. There was an immediate celebration in the office.  Everyone felt relieved and extremely happy.  Each one of them, beginning with my boss, hugged me and I started drinking water. I drank about 6 or 7 glasses of water and the muscles of my legs started aching.

I had not realised the extent of tension that was being built up in my body, until that moment.  My whole body was aching and I kept drinking more water.  To cut it short, I went home happily.  But I guess the impact was so much that as soon as I reached home my wife knew there was something terribly wrong; that too by just looking at my face (usually I take pride in my poker face).   I shared the entire incident with her and she, like the true gem that she is, promised me to face together, whatever it is in store for us.  That assurance and support from her not only shamed me about my previous thoughts of suicide but also became therapeutic to me.

My reactions seem silly and laughable today, after all these years.  But they were the absolute realities for me at that point in time.  This made me approach life and death as a subject, more deeply.  I realised we human beings take life and death rather too seriously.  While we all know that death is inevitable, we try to wish it away as far as possible and when finally it catches up with us, we are not prepared.

When we start taking death less seriously and accept it as a matter of fact, then life becomes more enjoyable, irrespective of the state we are in.  It prepares us to be more responsible about our commitments to ourselves, our family and our society.  Also it makes us more courageous to face the realities of life than preferring to escape through suicide.  Today, I feel proud that in those hours of worst crisis, I did not choose to abandon my duties and rather chose to live the life to its fullest.

 

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Let Everyday be Coming Out Day


2011
10.11

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-Sukhdeep Singh

October is the Coming Out Month, with 11th October being the National Coming Out Day in UK and USA. But what rather leaves me perplexed is the question, ‘Should there be a need of a special day to come out, or some auspicious time or date? Why does one need to come out at all?’ Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not asking you to go back inside closets, all I am questioning is(and may be reiterating an old thought), if straight people don’t need to explicitly say they are straight, why do I have to say it? Why can’t I let my actions or interactions do the talking, without having to shout every time?

Before you go down further (pun intended) let me warn you, that if you have not come out to even a single friend, this write-up may sound stupid. If you have come out to anyone and are comfortable in your skin, go ahead and give it a thought.

As they say, coming out is never a onetime thing. It is an ongoing process. Every day you meet new people, develop new friendships, and the other person may just assume you to be straight. So as you develop new relations, does it mean you take them out for a stroll one by one, and give out a speech telling them how your sexuality is different? No! Absolutely not! You did that when you came out for the first time to your close friend, or when you came out to your folks. Now you know that those that matter to you have accepted you, and you are as proud a person as anyone can be. Let your actions speak for yourself. So when you meet new people, stop “pretending” straight. If your head turns when a hot guy walks by, let it turn; instead of pretending that you did not notice him. Wear pink, if that is the colour of your choice, talk about Desperate Housewives, if that is the TV series you like. Stop being ashamed of your choices in the public. Someone intelligent enough should be able to get things straight. I didn’t have to personally tell my colleague who sits next to me at my office, he “figured it out” for himself. A few others in my team also have an inkling about it, so when a friend asked me, ‘Why don’t you come out to them?’ I replied, ‘I have never hidden my orientation per se. I don’t shy away from wearing a T-shirt that reads Straight?? So is Spaghetti until you heat it up to office, now do I need to give a coming out speech or what?’

That exactly is my point. You don’t need to prepare a coming out speech and wait for an auspicious moment. Just be yourself and stop hiding. Let your actions speak. If your friends/colleagues still need an affirmation from you, you can very casually nod your head and if needed, point out how they missed “figuring it out” for themselves. You can live your life on a happier note this way, on your own terms. Let each day be your coming out day!

 

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US EMBASSY’S PRIDE CELEBRATIONS IN ISLAMABAD: MORE DAMAGE THAN SUPPORT


2011
08.24

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-Hadi Hussain

In accordance with the US President Barack Obama’s May 31, 2011 GLBT Pride Proclamation that, “we rededicate ourselves to the pursuit of equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity,” US Ambassador for Pakistan, Richard Hoagland and members of Gays and Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies (GLIFAA) hosted an event declared as ‘Islamabad’s first ever Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Pride Celebration’ on June 26, 2011in the Federal Capital of Islamic Republic of Pakistan. This high profile event was reportedly attended by 75 people including Mission Officers, U.S. military representatives, foreign diplomats, and leaders of Pakistani LGBT advocacy groups who showed their “support for human rights, including LGBT rights in Pakistan at a time when those rights are increasingly under attack from extremist elements throughout Pakistani society”.

Unthankfully, all the sensational and flowery claptrap peddled around this event turned out to be a disaster for the budding underground Pakistani LGBT movement as the US Embassy conveniently oversaw the repercussions this event would have brought in an already critical country which is fighting against terrorism and radicalization while sacrificing its peace, its liberty, its sovereignty and countless lives of its law enforcement agencies and civilians alike.

Within a few days, the streets of major urban cities of Pakistan namely Islamabad, Karachi and Lahore were hailed with the students and political workers of Jamaat-e-Islami, a religious political party, chanting slogans at their highest pitches against homosexuals and America. For them it was a golden opportunity to kill both ‘the evils with a single stone’. Banners were displayed in major cities, especially in the federal capital, within a few days demanding persecution of gays and accusing Americans of propagating and imposing this ‘westernized’ idea. The lash back didn’t remain limited to the Jamaat-e-Islami only but sooner most of the political parties joined this bandwagon to form a coalition against the government for their menial political interests.

On the other hand, the Pakistani media, especially the local Urdu newspapers and channels dealt with the issue with their usual approach i.e. lacking all the required sensitivity and knowledge to handle this crucial issue.  Their sole concern was to raise their TRP’s and circulations and that’s all. Although a few liberal and sensible voices were raised through articles by Nuwas Manto, Hashim bin Rasheed, Marvi Sirmed and Mohsin Sayeed but most of these were published in English dailies or in their online o-peds and blog sections while leaving a huge void for majority Urdu readers. There was a dire need to represent a sensitive and sensible portrayal of the issue in the Urdu media to counter the venomous articles and hate speeches by Orya Maqbool Jaan, Aamir Liaquat and Ibtisam Elahi Zaheer, who not only openly condemned homosexuals but also denounced them as sinful, non-Muslims, lesser than human beings and demanded capital punishment for them with full zeal.

Meanwhile, our media circulated and aired all this hate speech while completely overlooking its ethical and social responsibilities. I guess it’s high time that our mushrooming news channels and newspapers start differentiating between free speech and hate speech because without it, they are only damaging the fabric of an already complex and fragile society.

This unnecessary brouhaha by our sensational media started not only an untimely debate in our society but also in our households. I had never heard my mother, an ardent Urdu daily follower, having any strong stance against anyone, say it a murder, a rapist or a dacoit but one day she said, “All homosexuals should be stoned to death.”

Being a gay, living in Pakistan, from a traditional Muslim family background, it was already an ordeal to be myself but after this US Embassy triggered media frenzy things have turned even worse. The people I am out to, are now looking at me with a different perspective. They either consider me an undercover CIA agent with hidden agenda to ‘westernize’ the cultural values of Pakistan or look as if declaring that when the rogue mullahs will come and deliver me from my deadly sins, they will religiously mind their own business. This isn’t solely my own story but of several completely out or partially out queers in Pakistan. On the other hand one can imagine the suffering and tension of all those unheard, closeted voices, which were already afraid of coming out and pretending to be ‘normal’. The level of concern and uneasiness resulted from this highly inefficient and implausible event has made them even more vulnerable at the hands of the society, which is always ready to prosecute anyone different.

Surprisingly, it has also been reported that US embassy which claimed to “support LGBT rights in Pakistan” isn’t going to entertain LGBT Pakistanis for asylum. It’s as if that after starting a storm in the cocktail, they are also having an easy way out.

After talking to several local LGBT activists I have gathered two main stances regarding this whole fiasco and the future of Pakistani LGBT movement. A very small number of activists suggested that this event should be considered as a golden opportunity to come out formally and launch a full blown LGBT movement in Pakistan, after we had missed a similar opportunity in 2007 at the time of Shazina-Shumile case. On the other hand, the majority of the activists opined that it’s very sensitive and crucial time to come out and it’s better to remain underground for the survival of this movement. Change can be brought slowly and gradually, in safe and calculated ways. The recent incident where a young LGBT activist Falak Ali of Neegar Society was severely beaten up by the mullahs in the streets of Multan, a southern Punjab city, in the presence of police is just an example of the reaction of the public about this whole issue.

Still, Pakistani LGBT activists are hopeful and determined about the future of LGBT movement in Pakistan and they strongly believe that whenever there’s going to be any LGBT movement in Pakistan, it will be most definitely by Pakistani people for Pakistani people. No one else can decide or force the time for what and when we need to emancipate ourselves from the restrictions of the heterosexist society. We can have allies and support from other international organizations but the primary reinforces and stakeholders will be ourselves. Let’s hope for the times when Pakistani LGBT movement will be in full swing and our government will start accepting the existence of Pakistani LGBT.

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Photo Contest : Pride Pics


2011
07.18

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After a successful blogging contest on the theme Being Gay in India, this time we bring you a photo contest on the theme Pride Pics.

How do you define pride? Pride need not  be restricted to Pride Marches alone. There is pride in little things we do everyday. So take out your shutterbugs and send us your entry for the contest, which according to you defines pride. Mail us your entries at editor@gaylaxymag.com.

The best entry gets featured on the Cover of Jul-Aug issue of Gaylaxy. Top 3 entries win Azaad Bazaar T-shirts and Gaylaxy CDs as well.

So Hurry!! Contest Closes on 6th August!!

P.S.  Contest Restricted to India only.

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Sign Petition against Ghulam Nabi Azad’s homophobic statement


2011
07.05

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The Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality two years ago, yet, the Indian society seems to be still entrapped in the dark ages. The Union Minister in charge of Health, publicly expressed his biases against the LGBT community in a government function, attended by Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. His comments were highly irrational and based on no scientific jurisprudence.

In case you haven’t read Mr. Azad’s statement, you can read PTI’s report here.

The homosexual community of India is already struggling for the demand of equal rights for LGBT fraternity. While legal and social battles are on, this statement from someone who holds an office as important as Health, is totally uncalled for and unjustified, it is sad that the minister is ignorant of scientific evidence pointing out homosexuality is not only natural but genetic. He seems to have ignored the fact that American Society of Psychiatry has removed homosexuality from list of mental disorders about four decades ago!

It is highly inappropriate for a minister to make claims which cannot be justified by any logic other than bias. Ghulam Nabi Azad ceases to be the right choice for the Ministry he is heading, and must be summarily removed.

We urge you to raise you voice against such an ignorant, homophobic and unscientific comment that targets a community already fighting for recognition and rights in this country, Please sign the online petition condemning Mr. Azad’s statement and seeking his removal as the Health Minister here.

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Being Gay in India


2011
07.02

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-Agnivo Niyogi

India is a nation which has its feet in the twenty first century but soul in the sixteenth. A society where generation gap stares bluntly at your face, it is but natural for the young to be reined in within a limit of “morality” which essentially encompasses everything that would “embarrass” the family in the society at large. Family ties outweigh individual aspirations and thoughts are chained to the fetters of traditions in this society which never dares to dream beyond the evident.

Sexuality as a whole is a banned object of discussion in a family discourse. Mention of the S word in any family gathering will earn you stares and silent reprimands. Such “dirty” talks are better limited to the dark of the night or the abbeys of the closet. It is but natural for such a conservative society to adopt the “silent mode” on alternate sexuality.

Homosexuality is avant-garde, anti procreative means ordained by God. Nature does not permit you to turn into a beast by devouring the members of the same sex – Oh aren’t these traits of pedophiles, lusty men who have united to kill the institution of marriage? Have we not heard these lines times and over again? Curious questions regarding sexual fetish, gazing look trying to decipher the untamed beast inside, sermons of morality tantamount to warnings against going on a warpath with God, do we not bear it with silent screams every day?

Fighting a battle with the society becomes easier when we have the support of the family. But tragically being gay in India is a tragic battle; fought without the blessings of the dear ones. The journey is a sojourn which sets you up against yourself. They say homosexuality is a disorder, some yoga therapists claim to have its cure too, well at one point of life the disorder does get into you. Having been made to realize how you have shamed the society and family, life poses the question of life before you. Being gay in India is the choice that you make – between life and after life.

In life you die and in death you discover the zeal to live. Gay is synonymous to happy, ironic, for the term is applied to whom happiness is denied at the cost of honour. But being gay in India is also about the struggle for happiness and dignity. Being gay in India is above all a responsibility to let our future generations realize the value of equality, fraternity, liberty and justice.

Being gay in India is all about being an Indian.

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Being Gay in India: Final Entries


2011
07.02

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Being Gay in India could mean different thing to different people. Being gay is never the same for any two persons, and the experiences and reactions vary from place to place, people to people, and culture to culture. India being a place of all kinds of diversity, that is still “coming to terms” with an “openly gay” culture or people, we thought it would be very interesting to note what our readers feel about the same. And we received an equally diverse set of entries, spanning a wide range of topics. It has been really difficult for us to select the top 3. So, we came up with the idea to let you choose the top 3, which would then be published in the Jul-Aug issue of Gaylaxy. We have shortlisted six entries, and now you can “vote” for them by commenting below each of these entries or “liking” them with the Facebook like button. Those with the maximum comments and likes will be published in the next issue of Gaylaxy.

Here is a brief overview of all the selected entries.

A Straight Perspective by Anubha Bhat – Anubha talks about an incident where to avail of an offer at an ice-cream parlour for couples, she decided to pair up with her friend and act as a lesbian couple. The denial of the offer by the parlour on the definition that couples mean a man and woman, led her through a series of emotions. Read Here

Gay @ NIT by Nipun Arora – Nipun is a student at one of the premier Engineering colleges of India. Unable to bear the suffocation of closet and determined to start a discourse among his peers and help others suffering silently in his college, he penned down this piece that appeared in the newsletter of his college. Read Here

No Closets to Live In by Falling Tree – Love can happen anywhere, anytime, and you don’t have to label it as gay or lesbian love.  “To find your soul mate is easiest in comparison to find anything else in this life. The eyes just meet and you know that your life will change soon,” she says. Read Here

The Comfort Closet! by Harshmir Pangli – Closet is suffocating and not comforting and coming out to your own self is the most difficult part writes Harshmir. “Being gay doesn’t mean that you have to do every single thing opposite to the staight guys, yet it doesn’t mean that you’ll behave exactly the same way they do. Its not the question of right or wrong, good or bad, ethical or unacceptable. It’s just being different from the majority; living it & loving it,” he tells. Read Here

Is monogamy the word? by Vivek – Lack of social acceptance of gay relations may make a one-night stand look tempting and the easier way out, but despite all the difficulties, hope is what keeps Vivek going. Read Here

Time for Change! by Avijit Kundu – A personal narrative by Avijit Kundu, a Queer-Rights Activist- where he gives a brief account of the changing viewpoints of his Salt Lake School buddies of ISC’97 batch on the issue of homosexuality over a period of 15 years. Read Here

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A Straight Perspective


2011
07.02

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-Anubha Bhat

Just the other day, I saw a deal on SoSasta that let you have unlimited scoops of ice-cream at Hokey Pokey (a franchise ice-cream parlour). They have an outlet at Bandra West, and since Alisha & I were there after our self defense class, I suggested we buy the deal and get the vouchers during our next session, so we can have some ice-cream after sweating ourselves out in class. She told me the deal was for a couple and we couldn’t avail of it. I said we were a couple already- “Two” of us made a couple. She went on to say it has to be 2 members of the opposite sex. I thought that was pretty biased. What if we were a lesbian couple wanting to avail of the deal? So on our way back, we rehearsed what we would say if we happen to go to Hokey Pokey and claim for our unlimited scoops. We spoke of suing them, fighting for our rights, stressing on section 377 and everything else that could get us those scoops. But I noticed one thing. No matter how educated we are, how much ever modernised or broadminded we call ourselves, we couldn’t help but giggle after rehearsing every one of those acts. Like the idea humoured us somehow.

So, when I read about this blogging contest on Gaylaxy Magazine, I was tempted to write about what I thought of homosexuality in India. 

When I was a kid, I didn’t even know gays exist. I didn’t know that it was possible for two members of the same sex to fall in love or engage in sexual intercourse. These things were always kept hidden from us just because the society felt homosexuals weren’t normal human beings, and that homosexuality was a taboo. For some, a sin! Frankly, I got exposed to this concept in the sixth grade from watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (when Ross gets divorced for the first time because his wife Carol is a lesbian). I went to an all girls’ school and as I grew up, I learnt of bisexuals too. There were girls in my school who other students & teachers said were lesbians, and they were made fun of, or avoided. During our sex education sessions, this area was never touched/discussed. Also, it was embarrassing to stand up and ask a question about homosexuality considering it was looked down upon. And we dare not ask such questions to our parents or other respectable elders of the family due to fear of getting scolded or punished. Even after seven years now, after the High court struck down the Section 377 provision two years back, after homosexuality was portrayed in movies (although after a lot of struggle with the censor board), homosexuality is still not accepted wholly in India.

 Parents still expect their kids to find a match for themselves from the opposite sex, so that they can start a family and lead a ‘normal’ life. We see such an example in the Bollywood movie Fashion where Rahul Arora (played by Samir Soni), a gay fashion designer gets married to his female best friend to keep his mother happy, but continues to date his boyfriend post marriage. A lot of homosexuals are pressurised by their families this way but they don’t realise what they are doing to the person and consequently to his/her partner. Of course, reproduction is impossible without two heterosexual individuals of the opposite sex, and that’s the only way the blood line can be kept alive, but these people can’t change the way they feel. They just aren’t built that way.

Trying to change them will destroy them. It already takes a lot of courage for them to admit their sexuality to themselves and to their near ones. Forcing them to change or live differently will hamper their growth, and the depression caused might lead them to even take their lives.

Even as I write this, I admit I feel a little different around gay people. I’d probably be okay with a gay friend but I might tell the world I have a gay friend just to see how they react or just to prove I am okay with having a gay friend even though internally I feel different around him/her. I guess time and experience will help me accept it. The rest of India? That might probably take a century!

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