Bottoming 101

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So you are going on a date.  And you think you will have some play time with the gentleman concerned. So you jump in the shower. You get clean.   But are you really “clean” enough for your date.

It’s something that I struggled with for quite a while. I had heard of the term douching, but over time I now realise that I didn’t really fully understand what it meant. There are several different douching aids. And we will delve deep into them to share some of what I have learnt along the way.

Let’s assume for the sake of this article, that you know the partner, you know their status, and you have had all the conversations about everything you need to. This article is not to educate about safe sex or negotiating sexual encounters. It’s about the steps you take to prepare when you are pretty certain you are “gonna get banged like the proverbial dunny door”.

So first – some ground rules…  

1) If you are putting anything up your butt, lubricate it.  Especially if you are tight. 

2) What goes in, must come out. If you put a lot of water in, a lot has to come out.

3) Going to the bathroom is natural.  If it’s an issue for you to expel into the shower or bath, then be sure you are close to the loo (but have an old towel on the ground so you don’t slip on the tiles between the shower and the loo).

4) Doing this may take a lot longer than your normal 3.5 minute shower.  You may want to do it when there is not a line for the bathroom.  You need to be relaxed to do this well.

THE BULB DOUCHE (A)

This is an old favourite, and you can find it in many adult stores (even the straight ones).  There are also some versions of this in the feminine care section of the pharmacy.  The idea is you fill the bulb with luke warm water, insert the pointy bit into the anus, and then press the bulb to gently force the water into the anus.  

You expel, and the contents of the lower bowel will come out with the water.  Repeat several times until the water is clear.
 Success rate – 50%      Time – Quick

THE HAIR SHAMPOO RINSER (B)

I am pretty sure everyones mum had one of these. You can get them at the hardware store, and even some supermarkets and pharmacies carry them.  Mum used to wash her hair with this, by slipping the end over the tap of the basin or the bath tap. This can be ideal when you are travelling and forgot to bring your other implements with you.

Slip off the shower head bit, and you are pretty much ready to go.   The hose can be a little rough so you may need extra lubrication.
See the section for a discussion on water pressure etc.
Success rate – 70%        Time – Moderate

The Shower Shot (C, D, E, F)

There are a variety of options here. 

If you have a shower with a hand held shower head (like in image C), then you are pretty much set. You can screw off the shower head, and put on the Shower Shot Head (image D).

The downside of this, is you have to turn on and off the water all the time to change the head.  So you can invest in the (fully removable) in line T junction (shown in image E) – which you then can affix another hose to (see image F).  This will enable you to switch the water flow with the diverter, and quickly and easily be able to control the water flow.  The downside of this is depending on your hot water service, the water may run cool or hot when you switch the positions – so check on this to see how your Hot Water Service responds.

With image F, you can get it as a complete kit (that includes image D, from the likes of fine adult stores  – but more likely online), or you can just invest in a simple hose with the fittings on it from the hardware or plumbing store.
Shower Shot D           Success rate – 95%      Time – Moderate
Shower Diverter E    Success rate – 100%    Time – Time Saver
Shower Shot F            Success rate – 95%      Time – Moderate

So the water pressure, and water temperature is the next thing to be aware of.

Always ensure that you run the water and test the temperature with your hand, before putting it anywhere near your ass. The flow should be steady but not strong. Some say that if you hold it directly upwards, that the stream should only go up a few cm and then fall.  I like my stream a little more strong than that. But you will find what works for you with time.

The next issue for you to come to terms with is anatomy.  Yes, we have a tight asshole, which can stretch to let things in and out. Immediately inside this, is the lower rectum. When this is full, we have the urge to go to the toilet.  And this is a feeling you will get when you first time (and every time) allow water into your ass. 

The food we eat goes to our stomach, and then down through our intestines, and actually gathers at the lower part of our intestines to solidify (which is called the sigmoid colon).  At the base of this – and before the lower rectum, is another “ anus” muscle, which I like to call “the inner ring”.   When you are douching, sometimes water will actually go through this “inner ring” into the sigmoid colon.  The resulting feeling can be approximated to a feeling like diarrhoea. And when you expel this water (which can take a while) it will often be more liquid (as its mixed with stuff that hasn’t yet formed into “poo”).

Now that the geography and biology lesson is over, some last advice.

Generally do a check well before “play time”.  That is to say, a quick visit to the bathroom or shower to check that there is not more liquid that needs/wants to come out.

Go forth and procreate – or have fun trying. And relax knowing you are in the best possible condition to participate in the fun to come.

Deep Cleaning

Some more advanced options you may wish to explore, if you are into heavy or deep toy play, or fisting, are listed below.

Diet does have a lot to do with how easy or hard deep cleaning can be.   Generally, what you eat for dinner one evening, will pass through some time between midday and midnight the next day.   So if you are planning a heavy bottoming session during the day, then maybe skip dinner the night before, and breakfast as well. And eat AFTER you have done your cleaning regime.  If you are planning a night time play session, then skip your dinner and breakfast, do your cleaning middle of the day, and then have a late light lunch or early dinner. 

Some other deep cleaning tips – milk does turn into a solid.  Soups go in liquid, and come out solid.  Some juices do the same.  And Up N Go shakes and yogurt seems safe – but also come out solid. The best things to keep your energy up will be electrolyte or sports drinks, or cordials. Definitely don’t go to a play session without having had anything to eat or drink (but don’t have too much either). 

For fisting and deep toy play, you will need to clean the sigmoid colon – which is a challenge all of its own. You will not be able to do this with a bulb douche. And you likely need to set aside an hour for a good deep clean.   Sometimes longer. The key here will be to plan to finish your deep clean about an hour before you plan to leave the house. And then be ready to “re-visit” the bathroom if you get the feeling that something has moved (and at that point usually it’s just a quick rinse of the lower rectum).

There is no secret to how to be able to clean the sigmoid colon.  Sometimes it happens naturally.  Sometimes thinking of the guy “deep inside you” will get your anatomy to relax.  Sometimes you need a shot of poppers.  Sometimes it’s the water pressure or warmth.  Other times it’s the water angle (or the angle of the head).  Sometimes it’s how relaxed you are (I find that having the shower head running on my shoulders, while I am using the shower shot, does sometimes help as well). But every time is different. 

Hope this discussion has helped clarify a few things for you.   We would love to hear your tips and tricks in the comments below.

So in conclusion, find what works for you, and most importantly, enjoy the ride….