October is the Coming Out Month, with 11th October being the National Coming Out Day in UK and USA. But what rather leaves me perplexed is the question, ‘Should there be a need of a special day to come out, or some auspicious time or date? Why does one need to come out at all?’ Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not asking you to go back inside closets, all I am questioning is(and may be reiterating an old thought), if straight people don’t need to explicitly say they are straight, why do I have to say it? Why can’t I let my actions or interactions do the talking, without having to shout every time?
Before you go down further (pun intended) let me warn you, that if you have not come out to even a single friend, this write-up may sound stupid. If you have come out to anyone and are comfortable in your skin, go ahead and give it a thought.
As they say, coming out is never a onetime thing. It is an ongoing process. Every day you meet new people, develop new friendships, and the other person may just assume you to be straight. So as you develop new relations, does it mean you take them out for a stroll one by one, and give out a speech telling them how your sexuality is different? No! Absolutely not! You did that when you came out for the first time to your close friend, or when you came out to your folks. Now you know that those that matter to you have accepted you, and you are as proud a person as anyone can be. Let your actions speak for yourself. So when you meet new people, stop “pretending” straight. If your head turns when a hot guy walks by, let it turn; instead of pretending that you did not notice him. Wear pink, if that is the colour of your choice, talk about Desperate Housewives, if that is the TV series you like. Stop being ashamed of your choices in the public. Someone intelligent enough should be able to get things straight. I didn’t have to personally tell my colleague who sits next to me at my office, he “figured it out” for himself. A few others in my team also have an inkling about it, so when a friend asked me, ‘Why don’t you come out to them?’ I replied, ‘I have never hidden my orientation per se. I don’t shy away from wearing a T-shirt that reads Straight?? So is Spaghetti until you heat it up to office, now do I need to give a coming out speech or what?’
That exactly is my point. You don’t need to prepare a coming out speech and wait for an auspicious moment. Just be yourself and stop hiding. Let your actions speak. If your friends/colleagues still need an affirmation from you, you can very casually nod your head and if needed, point out how they missed “figuring it out” for themselves. You can live your life on a happier note this way, on your own terms. Let each day be your coming out day!
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