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I came out to this friend of mine with whom I am friends since my early days of class 1 and she couldn’t have been more supportive and wished me all good and promised to support me in in my decisions. The other day I was with this friend of mine with whom I am pretty comfortable sharing things. I asked him if he knows I am gay and does he feel uncomfortable around me. He was pretty supportive and calm about this. My sexuality doesn’t affect me at all and that’s a good sign.

Yes, I am gay and it doesn’t make me a pervert and I won’t try upon you. Nor does it give you the right to judge my sexuality.

My sexuality is no one else’s business to judge and to comment upon because more importantly I am a human being and I have a purpose to solve in life. A person’s sexuality doesn’t define him, his capabilities do. I am going to be a future doctor, already in the 2nd year of MBBS and few more years left for me to be called a doctor. Wow! Prescribing medicines, advising people, sometimes even scolding them for not being compliant or doing something wrong for their own benefit. Sigh, I desire to be a better and productive human and I am pretty sure, my sexuality won’t pull me down or make me any less of human and God will love me as much as it loves every other being.

Coming out for me is pretty important as I don’t want myself to feel different from others and I don’t want my sexuality to keep bothering me and hinder my studies. I had a pretty hard time accepting myself. I have been mocked upon many times for the way I carry myself or the way I talk and of course my voice had been a topic of amusement for many and it had been deemed girlish. Okay, I can’t change my voice box, nor can I change my gayness (being a bit stereotypical here about the perception of the word gay). I come with these qualities.

I like boys, yes. I can be feminine at times, yes. I can act masculine at times (okay sometimes). Gender, it’s fluid for me, you see. And I am pretty much glad I have some pretty good and quality friends who accept me as the person I am and not judge me on the grounds of me being queer. Every time I got acceptance from my beloved friends, I felt more confident and a bit less outcast.

But things aren’t so utopic for everyone. I have heard from my friends about facing discrimination just because they don’t fit the norm of being a so called masculine straight guy. We live in a country where privacy is a fundamental right and I have the sole right to express my sexuality and not being the victim of discrimination till I commit any heinous and hateful crime or do anything wrong to anyone. My sexuality shall not be the basis of unhealthy bias on me or by me.

I won’t give up till I become a doctor. My sexuality shall not be your enemy or friend, but it will be carried along with me till afterlife.

Shubhankar Mondal

Shubhankar Mondal is a 18 year old who is currently pursuing his MBBS from AIIMS, Patna.

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