– what I miss about the flat –
on the black bathroom floor, the sunlight
the glass wall showing the sky at night
the window-lattice shadow on my flatmate’s bed
the dark inviting hidden-ness of the door next to my head
yawning outside it, a surprise metal cage
my naked feet on the cold white marble floor-edge
– what I miss about the city –
a personal space
each wall to be christened with a touch
faces in places unseen but felt
fingers that explore too much
teeth & tongue & lips & curves & skin both rough & smooth
dimness & darkness & tightness & looseness & beds & the way they move
eyes in the dark: black, cat, brown? Gentle or hungry or crinkling?
hair in the light: straight, curled, waved? shaved or mopped or hanging
(did I or would I) take ur clothes off first?
with nimble hands or teeth?
would we swirl in smoke or wine?
would god be at our feet?
– what I miss about the absence of disease in the world –
touch, and the thrill of rebelling
what (did it or will it) feel like (again)?
was loneliness always like dying?
how many chances did (I/we) miss?
in all the years wasted in search??
when was the last day we could have still kissed???
on this wretched blessed earth????
This poem is among the 13 shortlisted poems under the Rhyme and Reason contest by Rainbow Literature Festival and Gaylaxy,and supported by The Qknit,that was held in May.