1. Says he supports LGBT people, but constantly asks you how Lesbians have sex
  2. Can be found carrying a ‘Straight But not Narrow‘ poster in Pride, but wonders why people cross-dress . Can be heard saying: “Lesbians and gays are fine, but no trans!”
  3. Thinks you are dating every other gay guy you are friends with.
  4. Thinks LGBT rights mean Gay Marriage rights.
  5. Tries to appear funny by cracking homophobic jokes.
  6. Every time you meet them, asks you if you are in a relationship, even though they are themselves perpetually single.
  7. Will try and set you up with another friend of his/her who is gay/lesbian. Can often be heard saying: “I have a schoolmate who is gay, do you know him?/Maybe you guys can date”
  8. Advises you to move abroad because India doesn’t not allow gay marriages.
  9. Wonders about the anatomy of trans people.
  10. Keeps telling you he finds lesbians hot.. Asks you to introduce him to one.
  11. Asks a lesbian woman “Were you never attached to a man in your life”.
  12. Screams: “I finally have a gay friend. We will go shopping together ?”
  13. LGBT is fine but thanks that their close relative is not one

(With contributions from Rituparna Borah , Moulee and Sayantan Datta)

(Illustration by : Aritra Paul)

Sukhdeep Singh