1. Dislikes Trump but raves about Modi sarkar.
  2. Thinks he can move back to India and change LGBT rights scenario altogether.
  3. Has “visitor” on his Grindr profile followed by 🇺🇸 🇬🇧 🇦🇺 and imagines his desirability in that order.
  4. Is on a tight 2 week trip to get married to a woman of Mommy’s choice, a sanskari one from the same caste, but doesn’t want to lose on some desi gay sex as well.
  5. Customary solidarity by saying “I am so proud of what you all are doing in India. Wish I was so brave”.
  6. Can be heard saying, “The scene is so bad in India”.
  7. Is desperate to attend home parties but uses his newly acquired English accent of his new homeland and loses any remote chance of getting laid.
  8. Is often spotted only in shorts (regardless of the season in India) in malls, staring at how “western” Indian women are dressing now-a-days.
  9. Organises conferences on how colonialism affected lgbt rights in South Asia in the colonising country.
  10. Gets married to a white guy in a gay Hindu wedding, then sends the pictures to Indian news media to get featured.
  11. Comes back to India with trunk full of dollars and buys a queer gallery .

(With Contributions from: Moulee, Sukheep Singh, and Rituparna Borah)

(Illustration by: Aritra Paul)

Moses Tulasi
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