Exclusivity is one dynamics in gay relationships that seem to have taken a step back. Mainly because it seems to be hetero normative. Even then I have a huge fascination for it. When I see a straight couple romance so openly, where the guy and girl are celebrated for the “couple” they are; where the people around them are like: “Hey, she is his girl friend,” or, “They are a cute couple.” Recently I saw how my brother would share every video of his fiance’s performance. It was a cute gesture, because I have never seen him do that before!
You also see how when there is a couple in the group, you give them a private space. They can just go with each other in a group and others wouldn’t bat an eye. The way they can just hold hands and walk in front of everyone. They get to sit next to each other. They walk together all the time, side by side, and no one would come between them.
Even if they are not near each other, its a given that they are a couple. Even if she is with her friends and he is with his, they all know that they are each other’s. It’s funny how they congratulate the guy, if the girl achieves something, and they go talk to the girl, if the guy has an issue. It’s beautiful. They are two people but the world simply sees them as one.
Keeping aside how others perceive, I have briefly had the feeling of “exclusivity”, where the feeling that there is someone who is “yours”, and there is someone to lean on, and be a support to, is something I miss the most. The small gestures that they specially do to each other, that no one in the world would be able to get!
I am envious of those straight couples, they travel the world together, they have all the privacy they want. They get the best of each other. Even them complaining about their partner is cute! How they just look at each other, how they hold each other, and when being in the arms of the other person, you realize that you are emotionally connected to someone and you would do things to that person what you wouldn’t do to anyone else. A harmonious surrender, a wholesome communion.
Trust me, if only exclusivity was just not something to do with “Bed”; but sharing your body, your heart, your dreams, your aspirations, your insecurities, your imperfections and your life, to one person. It’s a dream of many and also their nightmare! Cos once you have a taste of it, you want it even more, but then we are always in denial, as we may not be able to withstand the hurt. We end up believing that exclusivity is not for us. I might be naive to think this way, but I would keep it close to my heart. The memories of what had happened, and the dreams of what could have.