It’s very common for a boy to fall for guys in class. To me, I have had many such crushes throughout my life. As far as I can remember, I have liked guys who are ambitious and cute. Guys who are sturdy and manly. One of those guys I liked when I was in 10th, used to sit next to me. I used to annoy him all the time. But he would still sit next to me. He wasn’t the most good looking, but he was very smart, and ambitious. I loved that in him, but he never paid any attention to me than what he would give the others.
Moving on, I was using the “app” with such disappointment, and there was a profile of a decent torso. What attracted me more were the words in the profile. Very much to the point. and I had shared my picture, and I was replied with my name!. For a second I decided to block the user, but the way he enquired seemed like he didn’t want to harm, but just wanted to confirm. I gave it a shot ( for some reason I was so confident), and he didn’t share his picture! He said he wanted to meet me in person, and I thought it would be nice to meet someone whom I know, as I was sure he was ultra discreet.
He was paranoid that I might “reveal” him and the questions he asked, made me feel sorry for him. I made him comfortable and decided to meet him! He called me home. I took the map and went to meet. To my surprise, it was the guy I had a crush on some 10 years back! Smart as ever, he didn’t look any different. He was visibly nervous, and I was quite confident. I went in, and we spoke for sometime. He was being suggestive and formal about everything, and I was just direct and blunt. He told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, as he was going to be in town for just three days.
He said I had changed a lot, and that he is very bad with names, but for some reason, when he saw my pic, the name popped in his head. We pretty much decided how it goes, and had a kiss. It was bad. He had clearly not kissed enough, and he confessed that he has only called guys to fuck and leave, never had he passionately kissed anyone. But the kissing session went about for three hours. We were naked, rubbing each others bodies, taking turns on top of each other. There was no penetration, We felt amazing. He was keen to meet me again , and invited me to stay over.
I couldn’t. I promised that I’ll join him the next day and went back home. The next day was tiring for both of us, and we had dinner. But this time, he was a lot more apprehensive. I didn’t know why. He wanted to try something “wild”, and wanted to “Tape” it. He suggested “threesome”, and I felt like the responsible, sweet and ambitious guy I fell for back then, was not who he was now. The biggest turn off though, was when he would tell me that he wished he had a girl to fuck, while hugging me. I told him that it was kinda insulting, and he kissed me a sorry.
He was insecure, he didn’t take any initiative, and was kinda sloppy in bed, nervous. But I tried to make him a lot comfortable. Physically, back then, he used to be taller, sturdier, but now I was like two inches taller, and a lot muscular than him (late puberty), and he tried to enter me, while I told him that I am not comfortable. The second night was pretty much confusing. We were tired, while I wanted a passionate kiss and cuddle, he wanted a dirty fuck (but he was clearly too tired for it). We simply came on each other and I was not done yet. After watching TV on his lap, I wanted more. We quickly started kissing again, and to my surprise he took me back to bed (I just wanted a kiss and cuddle ), and he really wanted to prolong it, but he came quickly enough, I think he was embarrassed about it, but I didn’t mind, and I was looking forward for the cuddling. But, then he dismissed it by saying that he needs space when he sleeps.
I slept next to him in the bed, and put my hands around him at times. The more I was with him, the more I could see that he was in a lot of struggle. He wanted to connect with a guy, but he was constantly scared of being judged. He wanted to be with a girl, but he wasn’t sure if he would like it. Both of us were very blunt about what we felt. Kinda seemed to hit it off at some places. But, the one thing that kept me going was that I never in my life imagined that the guy who sat next to me, the guy whom I secretly wished I could kiss, was on top of me, naked, kissing me tirelessly, looking at me into my eyes, and holding my hands. The level of intimacy where we pretty much were glued to each other.
And thus, I was left imagining how many such guys I had liked would come back to my life. The sheer nostalgia though…
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