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While we all are busy raving and ranting about the ‘forever alone’ status quo in our lives or maybe the ‘hooked-cooked-booked’ saga, let’s not be one of these many stereotypical annoying lovers to our beau’s. Valentine’s Day is meant for all, which is exactly why and irrespective of your orientation, gender, background and lifestyle choices, our team has come up with a list of who not to be- we aren’t judging, we are just saying!

The Misandrist and the Misogynist

 

You’ve dated this man or woman for long and they don’t stop at anything to show their bashful nature towards the opposite gender- words, actions and deeds or maybe from within the community. Their insulting and crassy rude comments are over-the-top; don’t be them or date them!hates_women

The Boorish bloke or diva

They wouldn’t for once hide it from you while dating you that they are indeed physically present but mentally elsewhere at the moment; checking the other man or woman across the table, flirting with passer-by’s through looks of the eyes, maybe bragging over their past scores and conquests; pffft, don’t be them, don’t date them!

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The Comparer

Does he or she love it over and over again being told by you that they are the best; better than the one you had before them? Their penchant for comparisons seems to be high, and the current love saga with you seems to be on an all time low. No clean slates here; you’re just wasting your time and money and energy on this person at the coffee table!

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The Late Kate

You’ve fixed a plan before, you’ve called to confirm and you are ready and waiting for your beau to arrive. It has been an hour and more, and you by now are used to the late Kate arrivals. It’s easier to date a cat than wait for the late Kate; they come late and make you feel guilty for waiting for them, by pretending to be guilty. Not once, but all the time- someone who keeps you waiting for other reasons, time and again- shouldn’t have your time!

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The Social-Media Bee

Quite an ubiquitous bunch we find these days; the speed at which they proclaim their love for one another (sometimes one with many) on social media sites (with many profiles under fake names) is appalling. Such people are best known as the aligners of gossipers and wouldn’t care too much about bringing a smile to your face, not as much as they get their fake accolades and praises from their friends online. Their life is ONLINE and not ON YOU!

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The Narcissist

Beware and run miles away from such mental moochers. Such people bore you to death, and yet you have to brace up a smile of acceptance, why? Drop in a word that you had a tough week so far, and wait for the flood gates of empathy and sympathy to flow through; not for you, but for them since they would be talking about their life before hearing you out. You see the world revolves around them, and them alone!

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The Over-Complimentor

We all love compliments- to give and to receive, however, the over-complimentor is someone you need to be very wary about. The ceaseless onslaught of compliments is too vacuous to deal with at times. Dating someone with such mentalities can be a little too overwhelming. These people are sweet, but too much sweetness is something to be wary about- what’s cooking behind you really don’t know! Are they really acknowledging you as a real person? Who can say!

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The Pressurizers

Well sometimes we all would like our partners to do something we love to do, but there is a thin line in asking and forcing them to do so. No means no, period! If he or she wants you to have a smoke or a smoke up session, a binge drinking or maybe public mushy stuff and you aren’t comfy- make it known to them. If they still push around and want their way- you are best to yourself alone, with a cup of hot chocolate, a movie, a sex toy and maybe romantic music!

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The Moochers

They wont go dutch on the bill, they want sugar daddies and mommies paying for them always, they wont appreciate what you do for them and the list can go on. Remember, PINKY HAI PAISE WALO KI- stop buying love!

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The Judgmental Lass and Dude

Judgmental in more ways than one- aligned with misogynists and misandrists, slut shamers and body shamers, fashion shamers and lifestyle shamers, preachers not practitioners, telling you what a certain gender should and shouldn’t do, being from the community and ridiculing the minorities within and the list can go on!

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Expects Plenty and Does Nothing to Earn it

You pay for them, you shop for them, you do just about everything they feel lazy about, and yet you date them because you feel they are ‘the ones’ to live with- why? Seldom do they take your calls or answer your messages; should they be in need, their calls and messages flood you like the forty days of floods in the Bible. The self-absorbed numbskull doesn’t want you, and this is a one-sided affair, wake up!

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Doesn’t Like Your Friends

Don’t like your friends, they then wouldn’t ever gel with them and respect them. Your friends have stood by you through times thick and thin, so allowing a newbie – your lover, to compare and criticize and comment on your circle in the first few days of meeting them- NO-NO!

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The list can go on, and since this is a post that is inclusive of all gender types, orientations and lifestyle choices, we wish you all a happy valentine’s today and for ever. Don’t be a prick being a judgmental asshat, because love is not a boundary defined notion or concept- love is universal and has no place for negatrons!

Toodles!

Rohan Noronha

Rohan Noronha

A bohemian at heart, wild child by nature, Rohan A H Noronha speaks to the soul and spirit of many through his writings. Quirky, incandescent, blunt yet polite, styling the less-fortunate and writing is a passion deep rooted and a second-self to him
Rohan Noronha