The 11 Kinds Of Prejudiced Homosexual Men

discrimination-or-odd-one-out1

As gay men in India, most of us are rather proud of our identity. But we are more proud of what we can stick our tongues up on. Condescension shows that we are fit to be members of a certain class, that we are proud flag bearers of a certain social order, that we are light years ahead in class or stature or thought over the wretched lot.

I’ve come across so much prejudice members nestle towards others of the community that it boggles the mind.

1. The political prejudice

The queer BJP supporter against the queer AAP supporter against the queer Congress supporter, all of whom obviously against each other. The liberal fundamentalist at loggerheads with the conservative fundamentalist. If you are a flag-bearing liberal, the other is ‘delusional and brainwashed’. If you are conservative, the other is ‘a westernized radical’. Can you for once, see a person separated from what political party he supports?

2. The economic prejudice

The queer socialist against the queer capitalist and the queer bourgeoisie. Anytime there is a depiction of the queer community in films and the media, you sneer about the capitalist order brushing aside everything, and how the well-decked gay is just an upper class product.

3. The orientation-led prejudice

social-media-discrimination

 The gay man against the bisexual man and the transman. ‘A bisexual man just thinks about sex’, ‘Being bisexual is just a license to marry and sleep around with men’ – since when are you the custodian of morality? If a married straight man sleeps around with other women, do you blame his straightness for it? Biphobia and transphobia are no less damaging than homophobia.

4. The masculine prejudice

The macho gay man against the effeminate gay man. Just look at some of the profile descriptions on gay dating sites – ‘no pansies’, ‘girlish not allowed’, ‘be a man’. And another gem – ‘be straight acting’. Seriously? How straight acting are you in the bed with your clothes off.

5. The intellectual prejudice

The intellectual snobs against the pedestrian class. ‘Know your grammar’, ‘ensure that you can string a proper sentence in English’.The ones who watch only American sitcoms and sneer at you for liking an Indian soap. The ones who know their Rembrandts and Beethovens and never fail to rub it in on you.

6. The ‘weighty’ prejudice

The body builders against the ‘fatties’. ‘No fat guys and slobs’, ‘Gym toned and muscular only’. And you steadfastly avoid such guys because your muscles are defined by the company you keep.

Gummy-Bear-Circle

7. The commitment prejudice

The relationship seekers against the casual sex seekers. ‘The reason you go about seeking a f**k all the time is why our community is deplored by the masses,’ preaches one.  ‘Why can’t you find one person and settle down?’,says another. You want your shining moral beacon to bathe everyone around you. You feel a pressing need to dictate with whom and how many times should someone else have sex.

8. The disclosure prejudice

 The closeted gay against the ‘out’ gay. ‘Why do you have to wear your sexuality on your sleeves?’ ‘Why do you need this pride stuff and all?’ ‘What are you trying to achieve by screaming on the roads?’ We understand you have your reason to be in the closet, but do you need to hold it against others who are not? It is probably because of the ones who were out that the world got to know gay men exist! And then there are those gay men put on a desperate act of straightness – ‘I’m so into that girl’ – yes honey, you sure are – just make sure the folders in your computer are well hidden.

9. The ‘have-pic’ prejudice

The pic sporting profiles against the pic-less guys –  ‘No pic no reply’ – the standard refrain on most profiles on gay dating sites. Do you give two hoots to the fact that the guy possibly fears being forcibly outed to unsupportive family and friends?

10. The ‘anti-heteronormative’ prejudice

Hindu Marriage

You are against marriage, against rituals that mark it, against engagement and against every damn thing that has the stamp of a man-woman model to it. You must cock a snook at anyone who wants a gay marriage with ‘saath pheras’.

11. The star struck prejudice

You are so sure a sun sign is incompatible with you that you categorically avoid meeting men having that sign even for a coffee, lest something develops and the stars rain their wrath on you.

And there are so many other – related to race, caste, ethnicity, religion – if all of these were mere preferences, it’d be fine – it’s when you get judgemental that it ceases to be. You cut off ties with someone who would’ve made a great companion just because he doesn’t hold your bad-ass beliefs. You rant against them as misguided. You take any word spoken against your beliefs as a slight on you and your intelligence. And you gotta have the last word in any such conversation.

If you want a world populated by yes-men, where is the beauty? Learn to embrace diversity and understand dissent!

 

Dharmarajan M

Just like half of the guys out there, a guy selling stuff after studying transistors and solid state amplifiers...

Yep, Engineer-turned-MBA!And also a criminal, if you do need to know...
  • Reader

    Well observed and awesomely written !

  • Shrishti Jain

    The prejudices listed out are correct… but the writer seems to be the holder of several of these prejudices himself. If you want to preach this middle-of-the-road neutrality then look within first.

    • Immanuel

      Awesome Shrishti Jain. You just read my mind! “Custodian of morality” “if a married straight man sleeps around with other women do you blame his straightness for it”?? I mean..seriously? I blame his infidelity either ways.

    • Raj Jain

      You’re right, Shrishti. Although I appreciate this piece of observation, I think it’s an oxymoron, taking sides at several places.

  • VG

    There is also the 12th kind who places the self on a pedestal to write judgemental articled ‘classifying’ people on their social behaviour.

  • Mayank

    You are demeaning the word intelligence by comparing it to Grammar Nazis

  • Robear in Ojai

    People discriminate against people all the time, for any and all sorts of reasons, no matter their sexual orientation. To assume that the so-called “gay community” should be exempt from that despicable behavior is to buy into the fallacy that there is such a thing as a gay community, and to believe that we are better than the rest…

    Well, I got news: there isn’t and we aren’t.

    The “gay community” and “gay lifestyle” are constructs of the mainstream media, lobbyist groups and marketing agencies designed to wrap us all into neat packages that they can sell products and political agendas to. And we gobble it up.

    I am a 59 year old homosexual man. I have been open about my sexuality since I was 16. Never identified as “gay” or with any particular group or sub-group. I am an artist, a free thinker and I choose my friends by the value of their hearts, not their social status or cultural backgrounds.

    • Pran

      Thank you sir for drawing out a proportional argument that directly implicates none but every one of us living in this world.
      Analyzing a specific file & pulling out pages of prejudices is not difficult but what is, is the acknowledgement of the very existence, not just among those with certain orientations but also the rest of the world.

  • karthik

    “And there are so many other – related to race,
    caste, ethnicity, religion – if all of these were
    mere preferences, it’d be fine – it’s when you
    get judgemental that it ceases to be.”

    can’t agree more..:)
    n yes, it did make m think about all d prejudices I hold too..

  • Niranjan Udaya

    You want to imply that being moral is not the order of the day. Is this not your own opinion you want to thrust on others? Biphobia could never be compared to homophobia. Have some psychology classes before you touch on such topics moron. You wanted to highlight that gays are discriminating themselves. By the way retard, you wished to show Gay community in a poor light and by saying that Gay relationships are trivial you wanted to justify the fuctard nature of bisexuals. You and your article are both prejudiced. This article is just your baseless and unscientific opinions which the majority Gay community will understand and reject.