My boss is screaming for the past hour. I sit in stony silence listening to him speak, droning on about deadlines and commitments. He draws closer to my face and says “Are you listening mister?” A speck of his saliva lands on my face. I glare at him. Something snaps. I hold his jaw by my palms and push it away. I rise, pull the dog collar that we call the company badge and fling it. “I am done,” I hiss.

Banging the door behind me I stride ahead, my face grim. My body is shivering and I feel it burn inside. Something is changing. Something is breaking. I walk out of the office into the sunlight. I gaze at the sea of humanity, bonded labourers hurrying about, faces scowled and irritated. My phone rings. I cut the call and glance at numerous notifications, missed calls, To-do, reminders. I let the phone drop to the ground. Raising my feet and welling up all the rage, I crush it under my feet till it gets smashed.

The song by Daft Punk “Look what you have done. I am a mother fucking Starboy!” floats from the music shop nearby. I start running in the street.

In the distance I see my colleagues staring at me. I stick out my middle finger to them. They look shocked. How could a nice guy like me do such a thing?

My feet gain momentum. My boyfriend is waiting for me by the street corner. I slow down. He has sucked my energy with his constant neediness, arguments and possessiveness. He smiles at me. I grin devilishly, squeeze his bottom and continue to run.

Nothing seems to stop me anymore.

My parents wave to me. Should I stop? They raised and made me who I am. But they also mocked my sexuality and never accepted me. They shunned me for something I can’t even fucking control. I hug them, crying softly. I fall at their feet, take their blessings and keep running.

Yes I am a fucking Star Boy!

Ahead are my neighbours, talking in hushed tones and pointing their fingers. I turn towards them. Raising my head I let out a loud shriek, releasing all the anger, frustration at not being allowed to lead my life the way I want to. I scream like a madman. Everyone hold their palms to their ears as I continue to scream.

Finally flushed from my negative emotions I rise, radiating joy. My heart is pumping blood rapidly. I start running again, this time determined.

I am a frigging Star Boy!

There’s an unbridled joy in my strides as my feet land firmly on the ground. My arms swing back and forth. My chest swells with joy and the shirt buttons break. I slip out of my shirt… My entire body is gleaming with cool sweat. My pants come loose and slowly fall away. I am born free and I will always remain so.

The Earth, the wind encourage me as I dash naked. The city has long since disappeared from my view.

In the distance I spot a glade, the water looks green and clear. Trees with resplendent colours surround it. I approach the glade and make a dive into its serene waters.

The cool water tingles my spine, its waves rejuvenating my body, teasing my soul.

This is who I am. I was born from the element of nature. Each cell has arisen from Earth, wind, water and Fire. It is HOME I have come to. I will bathe in its lakes; eat from its abundant plants. I shall rest under the shade while the wind kisses my lips and plays with my naked body. I need no one as my solitude is my bliss. There is none to please here. No one to misunderstand my words, no one to take care of, no hurt feelings and no broken hearts.

I need not pretend anymore. I AM WHO I AM. It’s here that I shall learn to love thyself. I am not sure I would return back to the big bad city. It isn’t time yet. So let me enjoy my bliss.


Veer Piyush
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