Every time I check out the dating sites, I see discriminatory tags- “no pansies”, “no effeminate men”, “aunties and sisters please excuse” and the list can go on. The so-called alpha males (some exist and some are figments of imagination of their own kinds) can do better me thinks. And here are a couple of examples, who when on a date with you can be drab in bed and horrible at communication, worse still if you want to be in an LTR (long term relationship) with them.

Disclaimer: My opinion based on what I have experienced, what my besties have experienced and what the bloody misogynistic rules of society dictate have made us experience- beg to disagree, I respect your thoughts. Shalom!


Beware of the five signs

Crotch grabbing, nose digging, expletives lover and more- some of us fantasize about the alpha rugged male pounding us all night, whilst the rest willingly want them as lovers and partners for a LTR. More than just alpha males, beta males are better- they fit into any role and adjust too- isn’t that what relationships are all about? What you need is Mr. Right for long term, and not Mr. My Fantasy Right, check here to know if the man you are wanting to be with is ‘commitment friendly’ or not!


It’s not wrong to show off your masculine stance; once in a while it is okay. And please don’t brag about the ‘straight acting’ scenario, because that’s plain hypocrisy and boring- being ‘motherly and with a blend of feminine touches’ is okay, and you should be proud of it. We all have a mix of the X and the Y traits in us, don’t we? Why be ashamed of the X then?

Competitors flex their muscles during the "Mr. Senior Gujarat 2010" bodybuilding contest in the western Indian city of Ahmedabad January 31, 2010. More than 200 body builders across the state on Sunday participated in a contest organised by the Gujarat state body building association in an aim to encourage youth in body building sports and to aware common people about their health, a media release said. Picture taken January 31, 2010. REUTERS/Amit Dave (INDIA - Tags: SOCIETY) - RTR29Q0D

Picture source: Youthkiawaaz.com

How do you describe an Alpha male?

Is he Johnny Depp or Ranveer Singh? Is he Channing Tattum or Fawad? I don’t know, because in this day and age, tags and tribes within the gay community are ever so expanding, and some diminishing, which makes it tough for anyone to ascribe to a certain notion of being alpha male.


Picture source: Famewatcher.com

Some alpha males you check out at work, on the streets, around where you play or cruise or maybe just about in your building too, are hot- but are they really alpha males as you term them to be?

How most look at signs of an alpha male

  1. He has to be macho
  2. He has to be manly
  3. He has to be strong
  4. He has to be muscular and well-built
  5. He has to have a deep voice

I rolled eyes when most gay people I spoke to amongst the circle in my city over the years claimed these five attributes, and I wondered, can an alpha male not have a feminine energy in him? Wouldn’t that make him more powerful- multi dimensional?


Why does he have to be dominant?

Some of us like it rough and hard, on bed and otherwise, and then there are so called dominant assholes pretending to be alpha males- Have Mercy! For some this may not be a negation, but it depends on how much of a cowpat the asshat is. There are gay men that love such men, and good for them because it seems to work for them. And then there are some spiritual loving men with strong masculine energy, as told to me by many friends- I am yet to meet one, maybe they are a rare species that know how to control the lifestyle of the couple.

Picture source:

Picture source: Latexcatfish.com


Five signs that he isn’t an alpha male he claims to be

1. He puts people down

This IS NOT A SIGN of being an alpha male! This is a sign of insecurity. A sure sign that he is a pretentious prick at being an alpha male is this one. Self-centered narcissi blokes putting down someone directly or indirectly have no sense of mission me thinks. Do they have brain space? I doubt! Such men I feel have lack of ambition and clarity, and no focus as to where they want to go- they are lost cases you need to be aware of!


2. He isn’t heard off much

Sure for once or twice the crowds may hear him out, like his rants on social media and give him plenty of likes- FOR THE SAKE OF IT; not always. Alpha males are outspoken, calling a spade a spade when need be and for good reasons too- not just because they want to show others how powerful and dominating they can be- that’s simple and plain bullying, which is uncalled for and unattractive. That don’t impress me much boy; pulling someone down and blabbering away your progress report card- so uncool. He rants to gain attention, and sometimes thinks that the ranting will get him hook ups and a hot date for the bed- some fall for it, only to realize how horrible the experience can be.


Approval seekers

Alpha males listen to the opinions of others and take it into consideration to act upon the same; they wouldn’t want to seek approvals as such. He knows his choices- from the underwear he wears to the foods he eats- don’t mistake it with narcissist folks and stubborn blokes- they be so idiotic that even the aliens in Mars faceplam when they are spoken about. If he has to seek approval, he would observe the way you put it forth and would be direct that he only wants to hear it out for a while; no ranting after that. So called alpha blokes want reassurance over and over again; I dated a cry baby whiner wee once upon a time- I am happy to be free, so beware!



His energy is very directed

He knows where he keeps what and knows what he wants, how he wants it and will get to it no matter what, the right way. Alpha males are associated with hunters and warriors and take control of almost anything around. He doesn’t have the time to be lazy and wander around- he doesn’t seek attention; he loves doing his thing and knows the direction to take- how many of such so called alpha males you would find around- few and far between- most time wasters and lost souls claiming to be alpha males are actually energy vampires!


The whiney poo

Named the so called alpha male that, because he is just a whiner who has not left the garb of his cozy zone and yet wants to control the world- you especially. He complains about his work, his colleagues, his circle of friends, his ex and his parents, his aunts and his uncles, the kaamwali bai, the dhobi, the train being too crowded, the bus being too stinky, the roads with large orifices he travels on each day and why he wasn’t the chosen one by NASA probably- enough of that! You talk things with him and he whines more; you give him what he wants and he whines more- you tell him of solutions and he whines more- please flush him down the toilet bowl and soon!


We may all have that one sign in us which can be annoying, so take this post as a laugh and a lesson too. In the meantime, if you do have alpha males around you think are real ones’ keep them hooked- good men are hard to find- men that care for, provide and give you the best sex too- hot steamy rugged and wild- not masculine always you see.


Take a hike you so called alpha males, I am happy dating beta males, because they are better to understand and be with. And here’s how to understand men before you date them.


Rohan Noronha