The sexuality I possessed affected my performance of gender to a great extent. I have always been more inclined towards what the society calls an ‘effeminate’ behaviour, like speaking softly, unlike the macho manners of my father and grandfather.
Most of us live our lives saying that I am like this, because it's my nature. May be it could have been something that happened in your childhood that is still stopping you from living the romance you want to.
I was sexually abused when I was four by a few extended family members, by a teacher when I was 12 and raped by eight men when I was 13. I chose to be open irrespective of what I endured and my past experiences are not going to force me back into the closet