How Do I Love, My Lord?

Unspoken Lust

Unspoken Lust

My lord, When the Sec 377 verdict came out, the activists said we had been branded criminals, the media said homosexuality was criminalized, but you asked to first read the judgement. I had full faith on you, full faith on our TOP (pun unintended) court. In your judgement, you said the said Section criminalises a particular act, and not any group of people; and I too agree with you, but I have a few questions.

You see My Lord, my mother has always asked me to keep away from trouble, to not be the leader because leaders invite trouble. She certainly would not like to see me behind bars. Thus, I have decided to be a law abiding citizen and not engage in acts that may criminalise me. After all, I do not want to be chained (BDSM is just not my thing!). My Lord, until that fateful day, I strongly believed that sex was a physical expression of love (though not always). And I must say, I am extremely grateful that you had the foresight to not extend the Section and criminalise love. How can love be criminalized after all? It is a feeling, and only those touched by it can sense it. But yes, that feeling gets expressed in various ways. I wish I was a poet, like some of my friends, and I promise I would have expressed my feelings only through those beautiful lines that my poet friends are able to write. But I am not gifted like them, and so, like many others, I physically express my love.

Based on the reading of your esteemed judgment, I understand that I cannot show my appreciation for that thing of beauty inside his pant by letting it enter my body. But your judgment still leaves me with a lot of doubts, for that is not the only way that I have appreciated him and his beauty. But since I don’t want to be a criminal My Lord, so I ask you these questions:

Am I allowed to kiss him, My Lord? Can I kiss his lips, or do I have to remain content with kissing his cheeks? Are my lips allowed to touch his body? May be I have been corrupted by those Hollywood movies, but that lip-to-lip kiss has always been enjoyable. But if the mouth was meant for eating, then is my kissing him wrong? Will my tongue rolling inside his mouth be considered another form of penetration and an unnatural act? Why do all wrong things feel so right, My Lord? But then, can a girl and boy perform the act? I would like to confess My Lord that this lip-to-lip kiss is a very western influence on us Indians. The name itself is so western. They call it the “French Kiss”.

I am given to understand that the tongue is meant to lick. Of course it cannot lick bad things like the penis, but can I lick the nape of his neck, which he so enjoys? And am I allowed to lick his manly, hairy chest and savour it? I don’t know what biological functions do male nipples perform, but I do enjoy it when he rolls his tongue over those. But My Lord, are the male nipples natural? They do not serve any purpose in reproduction, then how could they be natural? Then is this act of ours too an unnatural act My Lord?

And My Lord, am I allowed to grasp his manhood? We humans tend to touch and feel things that we find beautiful. We are not content merely by the sight. We touch the sculptures when we visit historical monuments, we feel the texture of the cloth when we buy them. I also love to feel and wake that sleeping beauty, which looks so innocent in its slumber, but is a monster when woken up. Can I tame that monster with my hands, My Lord? I feel this should be according to the law, for nothing is entering any part of my body or his. But I still seek your clarification, My Lord. Also, is frottage (or for that matter fucking-between-the-thighs) still legal?

My Lord, I would be really grateful if you could answer my queries. My mother is old now and I can’t let her down at this age. To be a law abiding citizen, I have refrained from any sexual activity since you pronounced your verdict. But I am not sure how long will I be able to do that, for abstinence is not my greatest virtue. I do not want to be a criminal My Lord, but at the same time, I do not want to remain celibate for my whole life. My religion too does not advocate celibacy, and I hope you won’t hurt my religious sentiments My Lord!

The photograph titled Unspoken Lust was taken in Suchandragraphy's Studio, Kolkata.
Photography and concept: Suchandra Das
Models : Suraj Gopalakrishnan and Baju
Make Up and Co-ordination: Rohan A H Noronha
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Sukhdeep Singh