There was a time when I used to think that I am Sapiosexual. I was fond of the word, may be. I used to talk with guys who could hold a conversation for hours and hours. But then I would meet them, there would be something off about it. Not look wise, but may be the fact that they are too much in their head. Concepts after concepts, and wisdom quotes and lectures. Philosophy too. I would really like all of it, to be honest. I used to get high on information. But those with high IQ lack EQ!
As I have been in the sapio crowd too much, I know how methodically and impersonally we can jive for hours, and yet know nothing deeply about each other, as a person. I have been friends with such intellectual beings, at the end of the day, even after years, it is so common and easy for them to disconnect from you, while you end up emotionally invested in them.
I even started to get Sapio-averse, with a diarrhea of information flowing from each side, time passes, brain heats up, we feel an orgasmic high, a mind fuck. But, what ends up happening is the heart that wants warmth still stays bitter cold. I don’t know how many can slowly but surely connect about feelings, and then it did happen, may be once. That being said, I realised that I was not Sapio at all.
I wished to touch the heart thorough my mind, I wished to dive inside the person, know about their likes and dislikes, know about their past, tell about mine, feel secure and warm. I wanted emotions. I wanted a plethora of it. Being consumed by it and overwhelmed, even. I wanted to be touched at the deepest parts of my being. And Sapiosexuals merely would see it as stories, disconnected, trying to decipher it with their logic, when emotions are beyond it.
How many of us can open up to someone who would empathize with you? How many wouldn’t just churn in the thoughts of you, but “feel” the emotions. How many can openly show their heart to you and sweep you off your feet? I realized that I fall for intelligence, but faster, for kind words. I croon in front of kind gestures. My knees go weak when I am with someone who gives me a warm hug, or even looks into my eyes and gently touches my shoulders.
If there is someone who is erratic outside, but soft inside, I would even feel their softness from afar, and tend to them, and wish that some did see beyond mine. I would have friends who are intelligent, but to be intimate with someone, I would want someone who knows how I feel just by looking at me, than someone who asks me, “Hope you are okay?”.
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