Sex: Casual or Meaningful

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Bed SexWhen exactly does sex become casual or meaningful, wonders Rohan Noronha

Ok, so this Saturday I was out with my gang, girls and boys, and we ended the day with crashing over at my place. Needless to say alcohol flowed (thankfully no one got drunk), and we spoke about, rather had a debate which was intriguing, casual or meaningful sex?

This is what my fag hag June had to say, “I always wanted to grab my mate and do it whenever we could, and we did it. Although we are yet to call each other partners in love, we end up usually having one night stands and yet our friendship is strong, so no harm in it.”

Shivam, another friend to answer my fag hag says, “I do it with my boyfriend and before him it wasn’t anyone else, not even when I was single. Simply put, I need ‘meaning’ to whatever I do, sex involved.”

So I thought to myself, what is it that makes sex “meaningful” to some and casual to the rest?

Is it caring for someone or relating to someone’s sexual needs while intercourse is on which makes it “meaningful”, or is it the use of empathy when sex is involved? Meaningful sex I think is when you express your love to the one you are committed to. It is an emotional and to a large extent a very spiritual communication the two of you have, involving the physical zones as well.

For me without what I just mentioned above would be “meaningless”, you may beg to differ, but that’s what I opine.

My experience

There was one guy I had sex with and this was before he proposed, and before we hit it as a couple. Sex was meaningful before and after, so it differs from one couple’s perspective to another. This is a very subjective debate that could turn into a war if not treated properly. You have no ways to objectify the whole sense of sexual behavior, and there are certainly no agreements and standards whatsoever.

  1. Would you call the losing of your virginity meaningful, if you did it with someone you had no feelings for?
  2. If you had sex with someone you were having ONLY a fling with, would that be a monumental sexual experience?
  3. Would the long term relationship you are in and the first time you have sex with him, be meaningful?
  4. Would having sex over and over again with a F@$#@$ buddy be meaningful?
  5. Would having sex in a hot tub be meaningful?

In short, if you ask me, I would say when you are doing it for the one you love, truly, madly and deeply, you would be engaging in meaningful sex or else, if it is for your pleasure only, it’s meaningless.

Rohan Noronha

Rohan Noronha

A bohemian at heart, wild child by nature, Rohan A H Noronha speaks to the soul and spirit of many through his writings. Quirky, incandescent, blunt yet polite, styling the less-fortunate and writing is a passion deep rooted and a second-self to him
Rohan Noronha